


Maybe I'm Enough

by hpdm4ever, MessiFangirl (hpdm4ever)



Series: Leo + Luis (After Neymar) [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: FC Barcelona, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Suaressi, Transfer Season, Translation into Chinese available, Translation into Russian Available, Trident, msn, teammates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 20:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11791095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpdm4ever/pseuds/hpdm4ever, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpdm4ever/pseuds/MessiFangirl
Summary: "You're making excuses for him," Luis mumbles, shutting his eyes and thunking his head back on the headrest. "He's not a kid. And I'm sick and tired of everyone saying that.""What would you rather, then?" Leo asks. "You want them to say he left because of the money?" He squeezes Luis' hand. "You want me to say that when the press asks me what I really think? Or that he left because he didn't want to be in our shadow. In my shadow? That he wanted to be number one for the glory? Is that who you think he is?"Luis keeps his eyes closed. "I don't know," he says helplessly. "I just thought he was happy. I thought he was happy with us, and he wasn't."Now translated into Russian byRosario-21onficbook.net.Now translated into Chinese by Lucialov onWeibo.com.





	Maybe I'm Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pique](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pique/gifts), [yulin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yulin/gifts).



> For Serard, happy belated (or almost) birthday! It's in August, I know that much haha. And for Yulin, I hope you see some Suaressi tonight!

 

Luis waits until they're alone.

It doesn't take long. Everyone is hurrying through their locker room routines so that they can go home and eat. It's quieter than usual, without the normal chatter and loud music. There was anger earlier, amidst the goodbyes, but it's gone now. Now things are just... dull. Colorless. Some sadness lingers in the air, as if something is missing.

They all know what.

Or who.

And Luis has plenty to say on that subject, if anyone really wants to talk about it. The problem is that he wishes someone would ask him about it. But nobody will. The ones who matter already know how he feels. Because they feel it too. But Luis wants to talk about it. He wants to scream or cry or do something to get it all out.

But Leo...

"You had that video ready," Luis says once he's behind the wheel and Leo's pulled the door closed. He stares straight ahead as Leo fastens his seatbelt, waiting until he hears the click to pull out of his parking space. He hears a heavy sigh as well, but there's no response.

He didn't necessarily expect one.

But Luis isn't going to sit in silence for the whole ride home. He's going to push, just as he always has with Leo--just as they always had with Leo.

"Your video for Neymar," Luis clarifies when they slide out of the garage and into traffic. He still doesn't look at Leo, tries to keep the accusation out his voice. "You knew he was leaving." He doesn't want to be angry with Leo, but there's a part of him that is. Because he thought that all three of them were on the same level, on the same wavelength.

But if Ney told Leo and not him... if Leo knew about Ney and didn't tell him...

Luis wants to scream more.

The brush of Leo's fingertips against of Luis' forearm startles him. He glances at Leo quickly before returning his gaze to the road.

"I didn't make the video," Leo says softly, leaving his fingers on Luis' arm. They drag gently to the crook of Luis' elbow before moving back again. "My team did." Leo takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as they continue down the road. "I wrote the message, but they did the video. You know I'm not that good with technology," he says quietly, deprecating, laughing slightly.

Luis' grip tightens on the wheel. He knows full well that Leo didn't really answer him, knows full well that Leo's never answered a question he hasn't had to answer. But Leo's also never lied to him, and Luis doesn't think he's doing to start now. "Did you know?" he asks. And then, "Did he tell you?" he asks outright.

Leo's fingertips slide off of Luis' arm.

"He didn't tell me," Leo finally says, sounding tired. "But I knew."

Luis pulls up to a red light, finally turning to look at Leo fully. He's positive Leo would never lie to him. But he's hurt. Because he had thought that about Ney too. "Are you happy here, at Barcelona?" Luis asks, watching as Leo's head turns from the window to stare at him in surprise. "Are you going to stay here, until your contract runs out?"

Leo opens his mouth and then shuts it. His eyes flicker with something and Luis can practically see the moment he gets it. "You asked Neymar if he was happy. And he said yes," Leo says, lips twisting into something that resembles a smile.

A horn honks behind them and Luis looks back to the road, gritting his teeth as he accelerates. "I asked him more than that," Luis admits. "I trusted him. I trusted his answers."

"You knew he was considering it," Leo says as Luis starts to go faster. "You knew he had the offer. That he missed the Brazukas, that he wanted to play with Dani again. That his father was pushing him."

Luis shakes his head, not wanting to hear it. "Don't give me that shit. He still had Rafa, he still had his friends. He said he was happy, Leo! He said he was happy, at Barcelona, playing with us! With you! With me!" The rage is starting to swell through him again. "What the fuck am I supposed to think now?" He jerks the wheel to the side to pass a slow car, wishing that he'd never started this conversation.

Leo's fingers are back on his arm. "Luis," Leo says immediately, when Luis has to dodge another car. "Pull over, right now." The fingers turn into a hand, and the hand starts to squeeze. "Right now," he says, in that tone of voice he only uses when he's tired of someone's shit.

Luis takes a deep breath, instantly slowing down. He pulls off onto the side of the road, ignoring the way a few pebbles spurt under his tires and plink against his car. The radio is playing in the background, some mindless song that Neymar used to sing.

It makes him want to throw up.

As if Leo's reading his mind, the hand on Luis' arm moves to the volume, turning it all the way down until they're left in silence.

"He's young," Leo says, back in his normal tone of voice, as if he's just going to ignore the way Luis nearly lost it. "He's young and so talented." Leo's fingers slide down until they grip Luis' wrist. "We have to let him go do what he wants. And if that's in Paris, then so be it. He will go play there, and we can only just support him in that."

"You're making excuses for him," Luis mumbles, shutting his eyes and thunking his head back on the headrest. "He's not a kid. And I'm sick and tired of everyone saying that."

"What would you rather, then?" Leo asks. "You want them to say he left because of the money?" He squeezes Luis' hand. "You want me to say that when the press asks me what I really think? Or that he left because he didn't want to be in our shadow. In my shadow? That he wanted to be number one for the glory? Is that who you think he is?"

Luis keeps his eyes closed. "I don't know," he says helplessly. "I just thought he was happy. I thought he was happy with us, and he wasn't."

Leo sighs. "He was, Luis. He didn't lie about that. I think it was just a lot of things. He wanted to take a chance. And maybe this will be something he regrets... but he's going. And we... well, we will learn to move on. We will figure out how to play without him--how to live without him." When Luis doesn't open his eyes, Leo lets go of Luis and pulls his hand back again. "We have to."

Luis feels cold.

"I hate it. I feel like something is missing," Luis blurts out. "Like it's always going to be missing." He keeps his eyes shut, half afraid that tears are going to come. He wouldn't admit this to anyone but Leo. "I feel like..." He puts his hands over his face, struggling to find the words. "Fuck. I'm all fucked up."

But then Leo's tugging his hands back down.

"I know," Leo says, when Luis meets his gaze again. He licks his lips. "I know," he says again. He hesitates, and then he ducks his head. "You feel hurt. Hurt and angry and betrayed. You don't understand it--don't want to understand it." His lashes flutter against his cheeks, even as his skin starts to turn pink. For the first time Luis can see Leo's frustration over this whole thing. "You want to cut him out of your life and forget you ever knew him."

Luis nods, swallowing thickly, unable to look away.

"And yet," Leo continues, having to clear his throat, "you care about him too much for all of that."

"I do not," Luis mutters. "I hate him," he says, knowing it's a lie as soon as he says it.

"You could never hate him," Leo says, calling him on it, looking up again. "And I know that, because, I could never hate him either." He sounds annoyed, like he's worked himself up. But then the anger bleeds out of him and he slumps down, hands curling into themselves in misery. He may be stoic in front of the others, but he's never tried to hide his true feelings from Luis.

"Leo," Luis protests, hating how sad Leo's eyes look. He reaches out helplessly, his hand hanging in the air between them. Leo blinks up at him.

But then Leo sways forward, leaning into his hand.

"Leo," Luis says again, fingers cupping Leo's cheek. "It'll be alright," he says desperately. "You're--," he breaks off, thumb stroking across the soft skin. He doesn't know what he's going to say.

He only knows that they've never done this.

"Yes," Leo replies, not slipping a beat. "I'm here," he says, biting his bottom lip between his teeth. "I'm here," he repeats. "Ney's not, but maybe..." He flicks his eyes down to Luis' mouth before meeting his eyes again. "Maybe the two of us are enough."

Luis hears what he doesn't say: "Maybe I'm enough."

Luis becomes aware again of where they are, pulled over on the side of the road, radio silent, the sound of the rushing traffic barely audible over the beating of his heart. Leo's cheek is warm under his hand, and Luis should pull his hand back, should sit back in his seat, should start the car again and drive them home.

He should do lots of things.

But Leo's staring at him expectantly, dark eyes looking at him in a way they've never looked before. Before there was Ney with them. Before they didn't have this gaping hole between them.

That was before.

This is now.

And so Luis' other hand slowly finds the back of Leo's neck. Slowly moves up into Leo's hair. Threads into the silky strands he's touched a thousand times before.

When the kiss happens, it's natural.

Leo leans into him, opening his mouth eagerly, making a sound of pleasure as he tries to press closer to Luis. He's all wet lips and soft hands, clinging to Luis and trying to pull him into his seat.

The seat belts keep them where they are, and in fact it's the pressure from the straps that forces Luis to pull back. Leo doesn't say anything when Luis releases his mouth, hands still gripping whatever they can reach of each other, but a smile slowly spreads over his face.

And Luis knows everything is going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on mobile so I will thoroughly edit when I get back to a computer.


End file.
